Title: Inside Job
Series: Picnic six
Writer: P E Leody
SYNOPIS: A STEALING'S ON THE AGENDA
PAGE 1
DROITE: IT'S ALL RATHER QUITE
GAUCHE: I KINDA LIKE IT LIKE THIS
DROITE: USUALLY MEANS SOMEONE'S UP TO SOMETHING
GAUCHE: AS I SAID, I KINDA LIKE IT LIKE THIS
PAGE 2
MEUTH: UHM
WRIGHT: MIND IF I COME IN
MEUTH: ERHH YES
WRIGHT: KIND QUIET THOUGHT I'D SEE WHAT YOU'RE UP TO
PAGE 3
MEUTH: WHY WHEN IT'S QUITE DO YOU ASSUME I'M UP TO SOMETHING
WRIGHT: YOU'RE ALWAYS UP TO SOMETHING, THE QUIET JUST MEANS SOMETHING'S ABOUT TO BREAK THE SILENCE
PAGE 4
MEUTH: WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON GAUCHE HE'S ALWAYS GOT SOMETHING GOING
WRIGHT: NOT THAT HE'LL ADMIT IT
MEUTH: ME NEITHER
WRIGHT: YES BUT GAUCHE KEEPS IT QUIET COS HE KNOWS I'LL FIND A FLAW IN IT, YOU'RE A GENIUS YOU HAVE NOTHING TO HIDE
PAGE 5
MEUTH: I'VE FOUND CUNIVERSE'S FINANCIAL CORE
WRIGHT: WHY IN THIS AGE WOULD THEY HAVE A DEPOSITARY ?
MEUTH: CURRENCY NEEDS A LIMITED COMMODITY TO TRADE AT IT'S CORE
WRIGHT: AND YOU FOUND IT ?
MEUTH: IT'S NOT OPEN TO THE PUBLIC
PAGE 6
MEUTH: SO THAT'S THE PLAN
GAUCHE: GOOD LUCK
MEUTH: AREN'T YOU IN ?
GAUCHE: THE PLAN TURNS US INTO COMMON CRIMINALS
MEUTH: STEREOTYPES DO AS STEREOTYPES ARE
PAGE 7
AMWHIST: MA AM THE COMMANDER WISHES TO SEE YOU
TATE: SCHEDULE HIM IN THIS AFTERNOON
AMWHIST: IT'S OFFICIAL, FULL DRESS UNIFORM
AMWHIST: OH IT'S TIME FOR THE TALK
PAGE 8
COMMANDER: I AM WORRIED ABOUT THE CLOSENESS OF YOU TO THE ROGUE UNIT
COMMANDER: UNOFFICIAL, UNDOCUMENTED LINES OF COMMUNICATION EXIST BETWEEN YOU
COMMANDER: DESPITE THIS WE HAVE NEVER CAPTURED THEM
PAGE 9
TATE: I RECEIVE UNSOLICITED CALLS FROM THE ROGUE UNIT.
TATE: CALLS ARE PRIORITISED SO I DO HEAR THEM IMMEDIATELY
TATE: THE UNIT IS MY TOP PRIORITY
COMMANDER: NONE OF THIS CLEARS UP THE SUSPICION
PAGE 10
TATE: THE ROGUE UNITS FALLS UNDER THE COMMANDER'S JURISDICTION
TATE: CURRENTLY THAT IS YOU I BELIEVE
COMMANDER: AND LIKE MY PREDECESSORS THE ROGUE UNIT KEEP SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS
TATE: LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE ALREADY ON THE FAST TRACK FOR PROMOTION
PAGE 11
COMMANDER: HOW IS IT THAT COMMANDERS GET PROMOTED IF THEY KEEP FAILING
TATE: THEY GAIN GREAT EXPERIENCE THEN GET MOVED SIDEWAYS AS THEY LACK THE SKILL NECESSARY TO CAPTURE THE UNIT
COMMANDER: WHAT SKILL'S THAT ?
TATE: LUCK
PAGE 12
COMMANDER: SO HOW AM I GOING TO GET LUCKY ?
TATE: I JUST RECEIVED AN ANONYMOUS TIP THAT SOMEONE'S BEEN ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT CLASSIFIED INSTALLATION 873
COMMANDER: THE WHAT?
TATE: SIMPLY, I KNOW WHERE THE ROGUE UNIT WILL BE
PAGE 13
CLERK: SIR THE MAUDLIN MONKS ARE HERE TO AUTHORISE A TRANSFER
MANAGER: LEVEL 3 HOSPITALITY, YOU KNOW THE DRILL, REMEMBER VIGILANCE IS NEXT TO EXCELLENCE
CLERK: YES SIR, AS EVER BUT NOTHING EVER HAPPENS ROUND HERE
PAGE 14
Sfx: KERPLINK, KERPLINK, KERFIZZ
PAGE 15
ROBBER: THEY'RE ALL DOWN
ROBBER: FIND THE MANAGER, EXTRACT THE UNLOCK PROTOCOL
PAGE 16
CLERK: EXCUSE ME THERE SEEMS TO BE SOME KIND OF KERFUFFLE, DON'T WORRY PROTOCOL DICTATES I INVESTIGATE IN PROTECTIVE GEAR
CLERK: SIR ... DEAD ... THE PROTOCOL GONE
PAGE 17
CLERK: THERE'S AN INCIDENT IN PROGRESS, YOU ARE SAFE IN HERE IT'S IMPENETRABLE,
CLERK: AND ANYTHING YOU LOOSE FROM NOW ON FALLS UNDER OUR GUARANTEE
CLERK: I'VE GOT WORK TO DO
PAGE 18
CLERK: GOT YOU
CLERK: ARGGH
PAGE 19
CLERK: I GOT ONE BUT THE REST ARE NOWHERE TO BE SEEN
Sfx: KEBANG
ROBBER: YOU'LL BE HOSTAGES, TO THE VAULT
PAGE 20
AMWHIST: WE GOT CONFIRMATION THAT CSERVICE HAS ENTERED THE REPOSITORY
COMMANDER: NO PRISONERS, DEAD NOT ALIVE
AMWHIST: IT MAY BE A LITTLE HARD TO DIFFERENTIATE
COMMANDER: IF IN DOUBT SHOOT
PAGE 21
ROBBER: WE'RE ONTO THE MAJOR VAULT LEVEL
Sfx: KERBANG
ROBBER: IT'S CUNIVERSE HOW DID THEY GET HERE THIS FAST
ROBBER: INTO THE VAULT ALL OF YOU
PAGE 22
ROBBER: WE HAVE HOSTAGES STAY CALM AND NO ONE WILL GET HURT
Sfx: KERBANG
PAGE 23
ROBBER: INTO THE VAULT
MONK: NEVER
ROBBER: ITS' IMPENETRABLE YOU'LL BE SAFE
ROBBER: AIR FOR ABOUT HOUR BUT SAFE
PAGE 24
Sfx: KERBANG, KERBANG
AMWHIST: ALL DEAD
AMWHIST: ALL PERPETRATORS ACCOUNTED FOR
PAGE 25
WRIGHT: INSPIRED MEUTH
MEUTH: LEAK THE DETAILS NEEDED FOR BREACHING THE SECURITY
MEUTH: PLANT RUMOURS OF UNTOLD RICHES
MEUTH: SIT BACK AND WAIT, TO BE LED INTO THE VAULT
PAGE 26
WRIGHT: WHAT IS THIS STUFF
DROITE: WHATEVER IT IS, IT'S IN A CONVENIENT POCKET SIZE PIECES
WRIGHT: HOW DO WE KNOW HOW VALUABLE IT IS?
MEUTH: EASY, THE MORE WE TAKE THE MORE WE MAKE
PAGE 27
MEUTH: SKIM A BIT OFF EACH
MEUTH: THERE'S NO RECORD HOW WE GOT HERE, THAT WE WERE HERE, THAT WE ARE HERE
MEUTH: THE ROBBERS WILL BE TERMINATED NO GOODS FOUND ON THEM AND THEY AINT GONNA RECOUNT THIS STUFF
PAGE 28
WRIGHT: GOOD PLAN WITH ONE EXCEPTION WE TAKE FROM VULNERABLE SOURCES ONLY
DROITE: BUT YOU'LL BE BANKRUPTING
WRIGHT: YEAH I'LL PUT THAT ON MY RESUME IN CASE I END UP WITH AN INTERVIEW AT CUNIVERSE
PAGE 29
WRIGHT: IT MAY BANKRUPT THEM BUT IT WILL ALSO DESTABILISE THE GOVERNMENTS, DISFRANCHISE THE POPULATION WITH CUNIVERSE
DROITE: BUT THEY CAN'T ESCAPE CUNIVERSE'S CLUTCHES
WRIGHT: SO IT WILL BE INTERESTING HOW THEY TAKE REVENGE
PAGE 30
WRIGHT: YOU GOT A PROBLEM
MEUTH: GAUCHE WAS RIGHT WE'RE COMMON CRIMINALS
WRIGHT: WE'RE STEALING, DOES IT MATTER WHO THE VICTIM IS
MEUTH: YES IT DOES I STEAL FROM THOSE THAN CAN AFFORD IT
DROITE: YOU WANNA HOOD WITH THAT?
PAGE 31
WRIGHT: BAG THE GOODIES
GAUCHE: FREEZE
PAGE 32
DROITE: PLEASE WAIT A MINUTE, WE CAN SORT SOMETHING ELSE
GAUCHE: WHAT CAN A RELIGIOUS ORDER OFFER ME?
DROITE: RELIGION IS JUST A MATTER OF PERSPECTIVE, LOOK AROUND THERE'S PLENTY FOR EVERYONE
DROITE: PLEASE TRUST ME, TRUST US
GAUCHE: TRUST YOU, YOU'RE STEALING
PAGE 33
DROITE: WE, YOU AND US ARE STEALING
GAUCHE: YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA, THIS IS ALL USELESS
DROITE: WHAT DO YOU MEAN ALL USELESS
MEUTH: IGNORE HIM HE'S STALLING US, HE'S CSERVICE
PAGE 34
GAUCHE: YOU REALLY HAVE NO IDEA
GAUCHE: THESE PILES REPRESENT THE CORNERSTONE OF WEALTH FOR VARIOUS ALLIANCES
MEUTH: WE KNOW THAT WE'RE HERE TO REDUCE CUNIVERSE'S MOUNTAIN
MEUTH: HELP YOURSELF, WE HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY
GAUCHE: YOU CAN'T
PAGE 35
WRIGHT: YOU GONNA STOP US
GAUCHE: THEY CAN NOT BE REMOVED FROM THIS ROOM
GAUCHE: THESE ARE BY PRODUCTS OF ENERGY PRODUCTION.
GAUCHE: THEY ARE UNSTABLE UNLESS KEPT IN A PLACE LIKE THIS
GAUCHE: ALL YOUR POWER, PROPULSIONS AND WEAPONS PRODUCE THIS STUFF
MEUTH: WORTH A FORTUNE
PAGE 36
GAUCHE: ITS A NEGATIVE FORTUNE THESE ARE MARKERS OF DEBT
DROITE: YOU'RE TRYING TO GET RID OF THEM, WHILST YOUR EXISTENCE KEEPS PRODUCING THEM
MEUTH: SO CUNIVERSE
DROITE: IS POOR BUT IN CONTROL OF THIS FACILITY
WRIGHT: WHY SHOULD WE BELIEVE YOU
GAUCHE: HAVE I EVER LIED TO YOU?
PAGE 37
WRIGHT: GAUCHE
DROITE: GAUCHE
GAUCHE: MEUTH YOU GOT ANYTHING TO ADD TO YOUR COMRADES' MONOSYLLABIC OUTPOURINGS OF GRATITUDE
MEUTH: ARE SURE IT'S NOT WORTH ANYTHING?
PAGE 38
GAUCHE: IT WILL GO ATOMIC OUTSIDE OF THIS VICINITY
MEUTH: NO YOU'RE WRONG
DROITE: THE BASELINE BEHIND A CURRENCY COULD AS EASILY BE NEGATIVE AS POSITIVE
WRIGHT: PRESUMABLY GAUCHE YOUR APPEARANCE MEANS YOU HAVE A PLAN
PAGE 39
GAUCHE: NOWT TO STEAL HERE AND WE CAN'T REARRANGE THE PILES BECAUSE THEY'LL BE A LEDGER
DROITE: BUT THE LEDGER WILL ONLY BE FOR THE MAXIMUM AMOUNT IN THE PILE
WRIGHT: SO WE CAN REMOVE ALL WE WANT AND NO ONE WOULD COMPLAIN
MEUTH: APART FROM THE FACT IT WILL SOON GO ATOMIC
PAGE 40
GAUCHE: ROBBERS CORPSES AND THEIR EQUIPMENT WILL BE REMOVED FORM THE SCENE
WRIGHT: SO WE JUST PACK THEN WITH A FEW SOUVENIRS
DROITE: AND WAIT
MEUTH: NOT FORGETTING TO RUN
PAGE 41
AMWHIST: THE AREA IS SECURE SIR, YOU MAY ENTER IT UNDER EMERGENCY PROCEDURES
COMMANDER: SO ALL THE PERPETRATORS DEAD
AMWHIST: INTERNAL SQUABBLE, ALL SHOT BY THE SAME ANTIQUATED WEAPONS
COMMANDER: SO YOUR ROGUE UNIT CHATTER WAS JUST GOSSIP
TATE: MAKES YOU WONDER WHY YOU WERE SO INTERESTED IN IT SIR
PAGE 42
COMMANDER: IS THIS WHAT THEY WERE AFTER ?
AMWHIST: YES SIR
COMMANDER: BETTER PACKAGE IT UP AND TAKE IT TO OUR OFFICES
COMMANDER: DUE TO THE DELICATE LOCATION OF THIS PLACE, DON'T LEAVE AN EVIDENCE TRAIL
AMWHIST: ON YOUR COMMAND SIR
TATE: WE WON'T BE THE FIRST TO LEAVE TODAY
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